On the Road By Jack Kerouac

“I shambled after as I’ve been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”

Monday, 24 September 2012

Becoming toast. Writing this made me hungry.

My surroundings are still and quiet as I lay on the hard, tiled surface. I hear approaching footsteps and the clashing sound of cutlery. Is this my time? Is what all of the other slices have been talking about? I heard one of them say that the end slice looked like a heap of dust by the time he was finished. The thought paralyses me as I await my impending doom.

A familiar face appears before me. A giant. Greed and hunger burning in his eyes. "Breakfast time!" he announces, in such a tone that certifies my end. Hands reach out and grab me, handling me without the slightest ounce of care or delicacy.

I am swung around in mid air like a rag doll. And... What? Where is this? I am placed into a dark slot, surrounded by cold, shiny walls. My very own prison cell. Never have I felt so alone and terrified for the events that have yet to unfold. The scent of ashes from my previous friends radiates the small space and makes me feel nauseous.

Suddenly, as a sharp click occurs, red hot lights appear out of no where, burning my eyes as well as my doughy flesh. That familiar stench fills up the kitchen. Why oh why me? I plead for mercy, but my cries are unheard. CLICK! I shoot upwards and the brightness hits me like ball of sunlight.

I am chucked down onto the cold side like a piece of disposable garbage. What is this weapon of choice? The giant holds a sword of which he coats in a creamy substance. I assume I will be smothered in a matter of seconds.

Prof writing journal 24/09/12

Walking into class today, with my crippled back from work, I eyed up my seat, of which I would compare to sitting in a bin. Yes it's just that pleasant. Though, to my delight, the classroom was quite warm today, so I got to sit down all snug in my woolly cardigan. Until I saw our tutor Chris pressed one of the buttons on the A/C panel. What I would have given to have had superman's heat vision power in that moment!

It wasn't exactly easy to concentrate that morning when my best friend, who was sat next to me, continuously yawned and shivered like a chihuahua. Not to mention she was wearing a perfume, that for some reason, reminded me of my trip to Florida. I thought perhaps someone who was on that trip might have worn the same perfume, or that maybe it just smelt like the mass amount of cookies I ate at the time. I struggled to prevent myself from drooling at that moment.

Seeing as I so cleverly decided to sit in the front row of the class, I got to have a giant white screen in front of me all day, which isn't exactly easy on the eyes. Especially when I had to stop myself from falling asleep anyway due to the lack of sleep I had the night before. I would set myself a bedtime if I thought I'd stick to it. What can I say? I like Facebook too much.

I also discovered today that no matter how plain and quiet a classroom is, you will always find distractions. For example, the giant glass window by the door, which gives us all a fantastic view of the interesting looking students that walk by.
Another immature moment that morning occurred when me and Za'e actually thought it was hilarious if you said 'punctuation' really slowly, because it sounds like 'punch-you-asian'. I know, it's not even funny in the slightest, but it made me cry with laughter for about 3 minutes. I was very overtired.

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

First day of university.

I knew when I walked into the familiar building that I had a long day ahead of me. I met Za'e and Bonny previously so we could go to the class together, and when we walked through the doors into the cold modernised space, it just made the situation all the more real. I quickly contemplated whether I was actually being brought into a mental institution to be locked up... They'd finally figured me out! I soon realised that it was indeed just a university building and that they had ridiculously over used the colour white.

University. A big change in some ways, but also something I've been anticipating all summer. Finally somewhere I can study for my passion. We were one of the last students to enter the room. Everyone's silence made me assume they were all strangers, and no doubt nervous. When we sat down, the room was soon filled with mine and Za'e's giggles and whispers. We yet again failed to act like the rest of humanity. We took front row seats in the class, which was something I've always preferred doing, I like being in the action and taking everything in up close. The room was very cold, and very bare, it failed to even carry any specific scent. The only thing I was capable of smelling was my Lacoste pink perfume of which I had just started to use again that day... Mm mm fruity. The low temperature caused goosebumps on both mine and Za'e's arms, and I quickly scanned the room for the AC control panel, with intentions of destroying it. Not even the painfully pink wall beside me gave off a warm vibe.

When our new tutor, Dr Chris Dows entered, he quickly got us settled and chatting about the course, and within in minutes had the room filled with laughter. Za'e pointed out that he reminded her of Lee Evans. Thank God for that because it had been irritating me all morning! Anyway, with more giggles courtesy of the resembling comedian, the room warmed up after all. I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy this degree course, and I can't wait to get really stuck in next week.

Monday, 27 August 2012

Charity Skydive in Jersey

 These are pictures from my charity tandem skydive for Lafora body disease. I managed to raise just over £700. I appreciate everyone's support and I hope I get the chance participate in something so incredible again one day.


Sunday, 29 July 2012

Poker night!

Last night began with the festival at The Friary, which was around about when I first started drinking and probably when I should have stopped.We listened to some music and had some weird conversations, while watching the bouncer mess around with the jukebox, only to put on 'The time of my life' and yes I do mean the song from Dirty dancing. To each their own...
We soon went back to Tom's house, who has a lovely shed in his back garden, or 'The cabin' as his family call it, which in my opinion is like a mini house from the inside. Cute and cosy. It even has curtains and a 'home sweet home' to add to it's elegance.
 We decided to have a poker tournament, and due to the fact that I used to be addicted to on-line poker at the age of 12, it wasn't long before I was whipping their asses.
Tom liked to play his own music from his MacBook, which wasn't what I'd say 'bad' but it's not what I would usually listen to, so I decided to interrupt it by shouting "Can we put on some UB40? I'm really into reggae at the minute." I know... I don't help myself. I pride myself on being 'different'.
Good times!

Tuesday, 24 July 2012


A miracle occurred. My favourite band in the whole world, Stereophonics, came to my home town of Grimsby to perform a concert, which can definitely be noted down as one of the best nights of my life. Not only did I get to bounce up and down intensely to 'Dakota' but I got to stare at Kelly Jones, who let's face it, is the sexiest welsh man alive.

London and Wireless Festival

It's been almost two weeks since I returned from London so I think it's about time I blogged about it. I've been too busy to blog, things like getting up at 3pm and going to bed at 4:45am have been distracting me. I know I'm a lazy bitch with a messed up sleeping pattern...
Anyway, me and Za'e were extremely excited to be setting off to England's capital. Though we're not exactly experts at catching trains which provided us with some interesting situations but never the less, we arrived in one piece.

After arriving at Paddington station we tried to find our hotel, which took us about 20 minutes. Since we had no clue where our hotel was, just that it was about a three minute walk. But should we take a left or right? We made a lucky guess, let's just say Google maps was no f**king help at that point.
Our hotel room gave us some late night entertainment. When I opened the bathroom door, the fan decided to start falling out of the ceiling. A dodgy hotel bathroom and my short temper is never a good mix, so I marched down to reception to explain my dilemma. A few minutes later the receptionist came up to see the problem. This guy looks and says "I fix and I return with screw driver." Just so you know this guy is about 23 and can barely speak English, also he clearly is no electrician.

He returned with a bloody electric drill, and assumed I was probably about to die. He ended up making the situation worse, and after I pointed out that he needed to move us rooms because it wasn't safe, he said he would move us rooms the next day. Until then he gave us the key to another room just to use the bathroom. Which happened to be two floors below our room... Inconvenient event number two.
However, Za'e and I weren't going to let this get us down.

The next day we set off at 9am to stroll down Oxford Street and run in every shop that had pretty clothes displayed in the window. After catching some of the beautiful performances from the Gay Pride parade and spending way too much money then what we should have, we returned to the hotel to find that they had moved us rooms and upgraded us, so my temper was at ease for the time being.
Sunday was time for Wireless festival! Me and Za'e made our way down to Hyde Park in our Wellington boots, prepared for the muddy surfaces that awaited us.

The weather changed from bright beaming sunshine, to torrential rain within minutes, and continued to alternate throughout the whole day. But I didn't mind as I had my union jack anorak ;-) 
Rihanna, Jessie J and many others rocked the stage that day, so after dragging our aching arses back to our hotel, which included a quick detour to the supermarket across the street, me and za'e sat in our hotel room sipping hot chocolates while savouring our last night in London.

The next day we travelled back to Grimsby on the train, though our journey began with a slightly creepy situation. A very large middle aged man who stunk of booze, plonked his above average sized arse opposite us. Just our luck eh? He sat there until we reached the next stop, guzzling his wine and taking up most of he space on our table. Turns out that when the people at the next stop got on, he was in their seat, so he randomly sat down with me and za'e for no reason. There were plenty of empty seas around, and his allocated seat was in an entire different cabin. Cheeky yob! I mean why do I attract perverts? He also left his empty bottles on our table, so he clearly needed a backhand right across the face to teach him a lesson.
Anyway, me and Za'e returned to Grimsby safe and sound, and continued to spend the next few days in depression as Grimsby sucks and London rocks.

P.s. If you're going to wonder around the streets of London, keep an eye on your surroundings, because when you realise you're the only white people around and that you've somehow wondered into Islam Land, it makes you feel...uncomfortable.

Our dodgy bathroom
God Damn mess!